Last week a stray dog showed up on my doorstep. I had mercy on the poor, pathetic creature and took him in. Now I have a new dog. I named him Bernie Sanders.
Why did I name my dog Bernie Sanders? Two reasons.
First, Bernie (the dog, not the politician) is a welfare parasite. He is completely dependent on the mercy of others for his survival—just like the would-be constituents of Bernie Sanders (the politician).
Second, I don't like dogs. So, though I should find Bernie Sanders (the dog) intolerable, I don't for some strange reason. I feel the same way about the other Bernie Sanders. I detest socialism, but the Bern has a kind of obnoxious charm.